|Half past twelve. The time has quickly passed
since nine when I first turned up the lamp
and sat down here. I’ve been sitting without reading,
without speaking. With whom ought I to speak,
so utterly alone within this house?
The apparition of my youthful body,
since nine when I first turned up the lamp,
has come and found me and reminded me
of shuttered perfumed rooms
and of pleasure spent—what wanton pleasure!
And it also brought before my eyes
streets now made unrecognizable by time,
bustling city centres that are no more,
and theaters and coffeehouses that existed long ago.
The apparition of my youthful body
came and also brought me cause for pain:
deaths in the family;…separations...;
the feelings of my loved ones, the feelings of
those long dead which I so little valued.
Half past twelve. How the time has passed.
Half past twelve. How the years have passed.